POST COLLEGE

I just read my last two blog entries..haha!

I didn't write it so that people could feel sorry for me or pity me in any way. This blog was created for my own personal use. A place for me to vent, which I don't seem to do much of on here, and for me to just express myself and my thoughts!

My last two entries were written because, I was finally OVER the situation of us being over! I can talk about it, write about it and let people know about how hurt i was. I'm not always very good with expressing how I feel. I'm really low key about my relationships and my love life...you would know if you know me. Because I am now able to talk about it and allow people to know how vulnerable i was at that point in my life, I know I'm over it. I have a lot of pride and i don't like it when people know i'm vulnerable or weak, but i am only human and talking about it with my friends actually helped me get through my hard times!!

In the past 6 months i've learned a lot about myself and what i want and see certain things in a new persepective! As much as I want to stay young forever, in my time of reflection of myself and what i want to go after, I realized that I've grown a lot! I've become wiser and stronger especially in the love department!

Ciara- I found Myself...i feel as though the song is talking about me

So long
Farewell
Hello, to the new me
The better me

Thats's right
My Life...

21, and I've realized,
Everything you want's not meant to be.
21 then you qualify,
The stand up to reponsibilities.
So I tried to prioritize
By deciding what I know is best for me.

And then there's always, love that tries to trip you up.
You try to catch yourself before you hit the ground.ooh..
But nothings promised.
Friends are there to cheer you up,
To give you strength and build you up when you are down.ooh..
So I set sail in motion

I say
So long, farewell,
My lifes moving forward.
My ship has sailed,
And im so glad it's over.
My heart mends well,
After all that I've been through
I found myself.

22, I hope that I'm,
With someone who truly cares for me.
If im not, I'll be alright,
I'll accept the time i know God has for me.
One day I'll be the perfect wife.
If That's my destiny (yeaah)
And i won't be afraid to try
though theres always....

Love that tries to trip you up
But then someone who sweep you off the ground,ooh..
But nothings promised.
I'm not gonna give it up
Just because the last one let me down.ooh..
So I set sail in motion.

I say
So long, farewell (yeaah)
My ship has sailed,
And im so glad it's over.
My heart mends well,
After all that I've been through
I found myself.

I'm looking out for me,
Taking care of my needs.
Life isn't guaranteed,
It's time to start living.
It wont always be the same,
Can't be afraid of change.
You wanna have your way,
Demand till you're satisfied
You lower your self esteeem,
You gotta live your dream.
I'ts all about confidence,
So let them know that you can stand up.
You never try,
Learn to express you mind.
Sometimes you gotta fight,
I'ts your life so don't you give up.

I say
So long, farewell,
My lifes moving forward.
That, ship has sailed,
And im so glad it's over.
My heart mends well,
After all that i've been through
I found myself......
After all that I've been through
I found myself.........
After all that I've been through
I found myseeeelf

THIS SO IS SOOOO MEE!! and i'm glad that i found myself!

As of right now, I'm taking a break on relationships and trying to have fun on my own. Being tied down for over two years has limited me to certain things, not because he limited me, its just that while i was in a relationship i didn't feel the need or desire to want to go out of my bubble and explore more. I was stable, comfortable and content!

POST COLLEGE LIFE...is kind of boring, but definitely more chill! I feel like i've partied and drank way more in the past 6 months than I ever had in my whole 4 years of college. haha. ok well maybe its not completely true...but I have been consuming a lot more alcohol. Maybe its just my way of dealing with things? Who knows? Maybe its because I am finally single and free...or maybe cuz im back in the city!!

I miss the people and my room mates and being away from home, but still close enough to come back when I want to. Life at home is nice, but it can get kind of lonely...I can't drive over to my pledgesister's place at like 1 or 2 am just to kick it or go out or go to the daym lambda house. I mean I could go out every night in the city if i want...but i dont' wanna only hang out with a group of boys! i need some estrogen.

I miss cooking and eating and watching grey's anatomy with my room mates.
I miss having deep talks with my room mate for hours before we realize we really have to go to sleep.
I miss the hectic "getting ready time" with my kdphis.
I miss hanging out with my kdphis.
I miss having yogurt runs to swirls...which is now called cultive.
I miss being able to look forward to formals.
I miss the chaos of having to find a date to formals LAST minute because I didn't try looking for one earlier.
I miss my big sis peer pressuring me to drink
I miss making trouble with my minilover
I miss the 24...not the studying part but the being delirious and laughing out loud at 3am in that room about god knows what.

Davis has left me with some of my best and worst memories.
The love, hate, heartache....EVERYTHING!!

The people i've met, the experiences i've gone through, the obstacles i've faced...all of these things have helped shaped me to become who i am today! I have a lot of regrets and if i could go back i would do certain things differently but one thing I don't regret is joining kdphi because i've met a lot of wonderful people and it definitely made my college experience an unforgettable one.

I've opened up a lot in the past four years...opened my heart to love, to trust, and to have faith in people and things! It's hard to really get to know me. You've really got to pry and break my shell!