It's a Girl Thing

A lot has been on my mind lately and I haven't been able to find the right outlet. Yes, it's that time of the month again, when the emotional, sensitive, super analytical, grouchy, hot headed me comes out!

I am easily irritated and not as social as I normally can be. It's just been different trying to adjust to the single life. As much as I love it, I also hate it. I love the company, but too bad it was the wrong person. I sometimes wish we didn't have to make an effort to find our significant others and the person we're supposed to be with will just appear! Yeah right! Who am I kidding.

"I can't live without you"

Someone once told me that he couldn't live without me. After one hell of a rocky year, he found someone else. Life goes on for him...and what he once said...is no longer valid because in fact, he is able to live without me. I told him so!

Another person tells me the same thing...I just sit there and roll my eyes. Please!! You can so live without me in your life. Hello, buddy...you've already lived so many years of your life without me in it, what makes you think you can't live without me now. Is this something a guy does to a girl or a girl does to a guy in order for them to keep the one that they are about to lose. If so, that's lame.

I fell for that line once, but I'm not going to fall for it again! The first time, I cared too much and really thought he was going to "die" without me. But look at him now...he's happily in another relationship, living life just fine!

I might believe it, if an elderly person said it about their significant other. Why? Because he/she has probably been with their significant other for a whole half of their life. If one were to suddenly pass away, I think it would be legit for the other to say that they can't live without them.

I remember an episode of Grey's Anatomy, where a lady would get a heart attack every year on the day her loved one die. How could we compare our love for one another to a couple who have been together or in love for so many years. The truth is we can't!

Show Me, Don't Just Tell Me

I am a firm believer of the saying...Actions Speak Louder than Words.

I hate people who do the talk but don't walk the walk. It makes me think less of them as a person. I don't understand why some people think that others will be more fond of them...if they front like they can do this or they can do that...or they have this or they have that. Cut the bullshit.. be true to others, but most importantly be true to yourself. I hate how guys are full of excuses, and when you confront them about it...they'll find another excuse to cover it up. Some people just need to learn that its ok to live in reality instead of pretending to be in a dream world.

Run LOLA Run

I never thought i'd come across this name again. "LOLA!" Seriously, I think it's an ugly name. It reminds me of an old English lady from the Reniasance time. That happens to be name my coworker named her new dog! Not cute!

I wish I was more of an animal person, but I'm not. It really does take time for me to like anyone's dog. I like dogs who aren't as hyperactive. For some reason it seems as though smaller dogs are more hyper. They're so little that they can jump all over you!

Last time I heard the name Lola was from the film, Run Lola Run. I watched it in high school in one of my English Classes. It was a pretty good film portraying the fate of Lola's life, depending on which route she decides to take. Yup, and that's life for you. Do you ever wonder, "what if...I had done this or that or had taken another path."

We just need to stop wondering about all the "what ifs" and live with what we have. There's no point in looking back, when what's done cannot be undone.

thank yous

THANK YOU for saying thank you!
It always makes me feel a bit more appreciated when people say thank you to me...even if its for something little!

Work: story of the day. im wearing grey plaid-ish knee length capri pants, with a long black bubble shirt and a grey vest over it with black calf high boots. a 42 year old Caucasian patient coming in for his regular check up compliments me on my outfit. i say thanks, and think its weird. He's wearing slacks a button up shirt and a thin khacki jacket. "What do you know about fashion," i think to myself. There is such a huge generation gap between us. I just find it very odd and strange when old people compliment you on your outfit, especially if he's not that stylish himself and the fact that it was a male who did the complimenting. What does he know right? What do I know? I, myself am not that trendy either.

Family: Aww mom is sick again, why is she always sick around this time! Dad is the same, we're kind of on better terms now. That's good. After 5 years, the sister is single again. And after 4 years of friendship, the brother dates his high school friend. My brother, jenny's akdphi babie. Weird!

Health: Yay, i've been pretty healthy for the most part! I guess, happiness makes you healthier. No more unhealthy relationship, no more poor diets that are caused by finals and midterms, home cooked food is so much healthier and better! It's been good this year. I am very pleased!

Love: Empty. zero. nada. mei you. mo ah. Trying to get used to being alone again! sigh. I have so much more free time in my hands.

Oh just another normal TUESDAY!

If i go out, I ALMOST always have to put on a face. In girl language...that just means I need to put on make-up.

The face i put on when i go to work is a lot different than the face i put on when i go out. Why? because I work at an ophthalmologists' office...where
a) there's seriously NO ONE to impress
b) most of our patients are old(which means unattractive)
c) all the patients are either diagnosed with glaucoma or have some form of cataracts, which basically means...they're blind...so they wouldn't be able appreciate the effort we put on our face even if they tried.
d) it's just too early in the morning for me to try that hard!

Therefore, my face looks like your typical plain jane asian girl! Basically not appealing!

Last tuesday... must have been my lucky day. I didn't look any different than any other day. Two patients complimented me...uhm well i dont' know what to call it. Not sure if should even consider it a compliment.

A 52 year old woman began by complimenting me on my outfit...cool, whatever. Then she talks about my looks, uhm ok cool again, whatever. I'm trying to learn to take compliments from people, so respond with a simple thanks. She kept on egging it on...and it started to feel weird. I just smile and finish up with screening her. Before she leaves, she asks...if i have a boyfriend and I kind of laugh it off like "its none of your business, i dont' wanna answer you" . I took it kind of offensively when she said...you must have a lot of boyfriends. UHM no lady...im a loyal girl who only sticks to one person! If i am in a relationship with one person...i only have eyes for them. My eyes do not wander at all. Her last words to me were, "If I were a guy, i'd go after you." OMG woman...that's freaky. You don't even know me. I really found it really strange and was not flattered at all! Next time she comes in, I'm going to try to minimize conversation with her and be in and out!

Only seconds after she leaves, I bring a 67 year old man to an empty room to screen him. Why does he tell me that I get prettier every time he sees me. CREEPY NO? he's old enough to be my grandfather! GROSS. Old men should never compliment a woman on their beauty..i really think its creepy. Actually, I think there are limits of what a man could say when he's married. If you don't do it in a creepy way its ok. No sexual comments should be allowed!

What a weirdo day, it was!


AND TODAY....it was seriously raining cats and dogs...i haven't seen rain like this in a long time...but i suppose we need it!